Slow. It’s doing 30 miles per hour.
So Fastlane is pointless because we already know who’s facing the WWE champion and the Raw tag team champions. Fastlane could be a SmackDown exclusive show at this point.
All the pay-per-view and Raw shows until WrestleMania are stop gaps. It makes these shows less entertaining, for me at least.
It’s weird that given my feelings on this particular feud, I’m actually most interested in seeing what happens with Randy Orton and Alexa Bliss.
Yeah. THAT is what I’m most interested in on the Raw side of Fastlane.
Let’s get to the main hits and misses of this show. For a full rundown of Raw, check out the live blog by Rev. Claire Elizabeth!
Lashley and McIntyre matter more
What an entrance for my WWE Champion Bobby Lashley. They’re going all out on his presentation.
Lashley said that he fought for what he got and proved all the doubters wrong. He will reign supreme in the All Mighty Era.
Then Miz and Morrison came out and Miz pretty much just tried to sell himself and try to get Lashley to continue their “feud” like we didn’t know what he was trying to do.
Drew McIntyre walked right by Miz and got into the ring. He talked about how he also knew what it was like to be at rock bottom and claw his way back to the top. Miz distracted him and then Lashley attacked and got out of the ring.
Then all of a sudden, Sheamus attacked Lashley on the ramp for getting involved in his business. The match with Miz and McIntyre was next.
And honestly the best parts of this whole thing was Drew beating up Miz and putting him in the Hurt Lock. Really nothing special about the match except for Drew’s aggression.
Of course the brawl on the stage was leading to the main event.
Sheamus and Lashley went at each other. Lashley gave Sheamus some elbows to the head and Sheamus answered wit his own. Then he gave Lashley knees to the face and tried wearing Lashley down. Didn’t work very well because Lashley took Sheamus outside and sent him into the post. Lashley suplexed him to show his strength in front of Drew.
Sheamus did the Irish curse backbreaker and Lashley kicked out at one. Very similar to Drew! Lashley fought out of the Cloverleaf and powerslammed Sheamus for a near fall. The White Noise gave Sheamus a two count. Sheamus went for the Brogue Kick and Lashley speared him to win.
Lashley put the Hurt Lock on Sheamus, and then Drew Claymore Kicked Lashley to close the show. I’m much more interested in Lashley and Drew so I’m sure the Sheamus match will be fun, but I don’t care. This wasn’t a feud I was clamoring for. As I just said, now that we know the path for WrestleMania, these stop gaps make shows less entertaining.
I know Drew’s winning at Fastlane. He’s facing Lashley at WrestleMania. Alright, so another match for no reason. Bleh.
Stupid
My God, this is stupid.
Braun Strowman told Shane McMahon that he’s been bullied all his life and that Shane keeps running from him when what he really wants is a match. McMahon called him disgusting and stupid again and Braun told him to confront him. So Shane accepted for a match.
Shane actually came out for this but he was delaying the match start. Braun grabbed him and started pummeling him, but Shane hit him in the face with a camera, did the coast to coast to the announce table, and then poured two tubs of green paint on Braun.
Not really original since they had fun with green stuff months ago when Miz and Morrison were feuding with Braun on SmackDown. Poor Kayla Braxton got the brunt of that, though. Poor Kayla.
The road to WrestleMania for this feud is just… sigh. And apparently there’s a roadblock at Fastlane first. The finish for that… or lack thereof… will be so great.
Yes, that was sarcasm.
Poor Bad Bunny
I cannot believe they did this.
R-Truth walked up to Bad Bunny and Damian Priest with a bunch of Austin 3:16 merch. And Bad Bunny just traded the 24/7 title for it. And that’s it. Truth is 24/7 champion again.
HUH?
Alright then. Should have expected that would be how they did it. Then Priest had a match with Jaxson Ryker which last about a minute.
Morrison came out to congratulate Priest and made sure that their attention was on him. Then Miz came from behind and hit Bunny with Elias’ guitar. Kevin Dunn must have been distracted by Morrison too.
There were rumors that Miz and Morrison would be involved with Bunny and Priest and looks like that’s been confirmed. Don’t really get why the 24/7 title had to be handed off for that, though.
ASUKA 3:16 SAYS I JUST TURNBUCKLED YOUR TEETH OUT
Wow Asuka just fired up like crazy and I ALWAYS WANT THIS ASUKA!
Asuka charged at Shayna Baszler and knocked Nia Jax off the apron. Hip attacked Jax again, and Baszler knee’d Asuka in the face.
She knocked Jax out again, and then Baszler tried the Kirifuda Clutch, and Asuka reversed out and pinned her. Baszler didn’t release the hold and then Asuka lost it.
She took that turnbuckle off and I wanted to see teeth flying I swear to God. That was the most excited I’d been for Asuka in months. Stupid referee got in the way.
I swear they’re always stopping the babyfaces but do nothing when the heels attack. Odd.
The Rest
Riddle defeated Mustafa Ali
Before the match, Riddle breezed by RETRIBUTION on his scooter thing which got a chuckle out of me. Riddle tossed Ali and kicked him out of the ring. Ali threw neck first into the announce table. Then Ali did a neck breaker off the apron to the floor. He rolled in and did another neck breaker for a near fall. Riddle kicked Ali in the chest and slapped him a bunch into a pele kick. T-Bar got on the ring to distract the referee, but Ali reversed it and the referee got there too late. Ali got in their faces for it, and I wonder if that somehow continues this little feud with Riddle.
New Day defeated The Hurt Business / AJ Styles and Omos issue a challenge
Xavier Woods and Kofi Kingston have such infectious energy about them. I love it so much. When Alexander and Benjamin are on, they are on. Benjamin was successful in isolating Kingston by giving Woods a very painful looking knee to the face. Woods got back in and both men tried to take out the heels, but the heels scouted them and attacked. Benjamin ducked a Trouble in Paradise and went up top to stop Kingston and slammed him down on the mat. God that looked scary. But another Trouble in Paradise connected and a stomp sealed the victory. New Day are now 11 time tag team champions.
Styles and Omos came out after and said they were congratulating them for their win. He said that they don’t have anything planned for WrestleMania. Omos said that they want the Raw tag titles. They challenged New Day for WrestleMania and New Day accepted. That’s going to be a really interesting one. It’ll also potentially be the first time we see Omos in the ring. I said potentially because ya know… this is WWE after all.
Dana Brooke and Mandy Rose defeated Lana and Naomi
This match primarily made me realize that Lana has been getting better in the ring. I didn’t notice it previously, to be honest. She did a nice Russian legsweep and headscissors kick, but unfortunately Dana and Mandy had to get a win for reasons. I bet WWE already dropped Lana and Naomi’s “future title opportunity.”
Grade: C
What were your thoughts, Cagesiders?