Shannen Doherty on living with late-stage breast cancer: I try to treasure all the small moments – AOL

 

One of actress Shannen Doherty’s beloved rituals these days is to sit outside with her dog, a German shepherd named Bowie, with a glass of wine, watching her husband, Kurt Iswarienko, work in their garden.

“I try to treasure all the small moments that most people don’t really see or take for granted,” Doherty told Elle for a story published Tuesday. “The small things are magnified for me. We have this endless well within us, and it’s just about continuing to dig in that well for the strength to face adversity — and so that we can also see all the beauty.”

Doherty, 49, opened up to the magazine about her ongoing struggle with breast cancer. While she underwent treatment for the disease — surgery, radiation and chemotherapy — following her initial diagnosis in 2015, she discovered in early 2019 that it had returned and spread. The recurrence was diagnosed after she experienced intense back pain.

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Shannen Doherty through the years

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LOS ANGELES, CA – JANUARY 18: Actress Shannen Doherty attends Paramount Network Launch Party at Sunset Tower on January 18, 2018 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Earl Gibson III/Getty Images)

LOS ANGELES, CA – OCTOBER 27: Kurt Iswarienko and Shannen Doherty attend Casamigos Halloween Party on October 27, 2017 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Michael Kovac/Getty Images for Casamigos Tequila)

BEVERLY HILLS, CA – SEPTEMBER 09: Actress Shannen Doherty attends Farrah Fawcett Foundation’s ‘Tex-Mex Fiesta’ honoring Stand Up To Cancer at Wallis Annenberg Center for the Performing Arts on September 9, 2017 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Keipher McKennie/FilmMagic)

WASHINGTON, DC – MARCH 21: Shannen Doherty participates in a congressional briefing, speaking about the newly-introduced bill H.R. 1406, the Dog and Cat Meat Trade Prohibition Act, on protecting dogs and cats from human consumption at Rayburn House Office Building on March 21, 2017 in Washington, DC. (Photo by Leigh Vogel/Getty Images)

LOS ANGELES, CA – NOVEMBER 05: (EXCLUSIVE COVERAGE) Actress Shannen Doherty arrives at American Cancer Society’s Giants of Science Los Angeles Gala on November 5, 2016 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Vivien Killilea/WireImage)

LOS ANGELES, CA – SEPTEMBER 10: Actress Shannen Doherty attends Hollywood Unites For The 5th Biennial Stand Up To Cancer (SU2C), A Program Of The Entertainment Industry Foundation (EIF) at Walt Disney Concert Hall on September 9, 2016 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Jason LaVeris/FilmMagic)

LOS ANGELES, CA – SEPTEMBER 09: Actress Shannen Doherty attends Hollywood Unites for the 5th Biennial Stand Up To Cancer (SU2C), A Program of The Entertainment Industry Foundation (EIF) at Walt Disney Concert Hall on September 9, 2016 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Gregg DeGuire/WireImage)

LOS ANGELES, CA – JANUARY 27: Shannen Doherty (L) and Holly Marie Combs arrive at the LA Art Show and Los Angeles Fine Art Show’s 2016 opening night premiere party benefiting St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital held at Los Angeles Convention Center on January 27, 2016 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Michael Tran/FilmMagic)

CULVER CITY, CA – NOVEMBER 14: Actress Shannen Doherty attends the 2015 Baby2Baby Gala presented by MarulaOil & Kayne Capital Advisors Foundation honoring Kerry Washington at 3LABS on November 14, 2015 in Culver City, California. (Photo by David Livingston/Getty Images)

WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA – APRIL 19: Actress Shannen Doherty attends Jennie Garth’s 40th birthday celebration and premiere party for ‘Jennie Garth: A Little Bit Country’ at The London Hotel on April 19, 2012 in West Hollywood, California. (Photo by Angela Weiss/Getty Images)

LOS ANGELES, CA – FEBRUARY 13: Actress Shannen Doherty attends Shepherd Conservation Society’s 2nd Annual ‘World Love For Dolphins Day’ at Japanese Consulate on February 13, 2015 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Joe Kohen/Getty Images)

PARIS, FRANCE – MARCH 13: (EXCLUSIVE COVERAGE) Actress Shannen Doherty arrives at Charles-de-Gaulle airport on March 13, 2014 in Paris, France. (Photo by Marc Piasecki/GC Images)

BEVERLY HILLS, CALIFORNIA – OCTOBER 05: Shannen Doherty poses for a portrait in the Getty Images & People Magazine Portrait Studio at Hallmark Channel and American Humanes 2019 Hero Dog Awards at the Beverly Hilton on October 05, 2019 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Neilson Barnard/Getty Images for Hallmark Channel )

LOS ANGELES, CA – APRIL 09: Shannen Doherty is sighted at The Grove on April 9, 2012 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Noel Vasquez/FilmMagic)

WATCH WHAT HAPPENS LIVE — Pictured: Shannen Doherty — (Photo by: Peter Kramer/Bravo/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images)

BEVERLY HILLS, CALIFORNIA – SEPTEMBER 06: Shannen Doherty attends the Farrah Fawcett Foundation’s Tex-Mex Fiesta at Wallis Annenberg Center for the Performing Arts on September 06, 2019 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Tibrina Hobson/WireImage)

LOS ANGELES, CA – MAY 10: Shannen Doherty attends STK Los Angeles’ 3 Year Anniversary Party at STK on May 10, 2011 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Todd Williamson/WireImage)

LOS ANGELES, CA – DECEMBER 14: Shannen Doherty signs copies of her new book ‘Badass’ at Barnes & Noble bookstore at The Grove on December 14, 2010 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Jason LaVeris/FilmMagic)

Shannen Doherty arrives at the Los Angeles premiere of ‘Burning Palms’ held at ArcLight Cinemas on January 12, 2011 in Hollywood, California.

NEW YORK – NOVEMBER 02: Actress Shannen Doherty promotes ‘Badass’ at Borders Books & Music, Columbus Circle on November 2, 2010 in New York City. (Photo by Jason Kempin/Getty Images)

Shannen Doherty celebrates the grand opening of Bravada Women’s Athletica at Bravada – Women’s Athletica on June 17, 2010 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Jean Baptiste Lacroix/WireImage)

US actress Shannen Doherty attends the FOX Summer TCA 2019 All-Star Party at Fox Studios on August 7, 2019 in Los Angeles. (Photo by Michael Tran / AFP) (Photo credit should read MICHAEL TRAN/AFP via Getty Images)

NEW YORK – APRIL 01: Dancer Mark Ballas (L) and television personality Shannen Doherty pose for photos in Midtown Manhattan on April 01, 2010 in New York City. (Photo by Ray Tamarra/Getty Images)

LOS ANGELES, CA – MARCH 27: Shannen Doherty attends Perez Hilton’s ‘Carn-Evil’ Theatrical Freak and Funk 32nd birthday party at Paramount Studios on March 27, 2010 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Jean Baptiste Lacroix/WireImage)

LOS ANGELES, CA – MARCH 26: Shannen Doherty is seen on March 26, 2010 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Jean Baptiste Lacroix/WireImage)

LOS ANGELES, CA – JANUARY 16: Actress Shannen Doherty arrives at The Art of Elysium’s 3rd Annual Black Tie Charity Gala ‘Heaven’ on January 16, 2010 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Jeffrey Mayer/WireImage)

LOS ANGELES, CA – DECEMBER 18: Actress Shannen Doherty arrives at Flaunt Magazine’s 10th Anniversary Party and Annual Holiday Toy Drive at the Wayne Kao Mansion on December 18th, 2008 in Holmby Hills, CA. (Photo by Michael Bezjian/WireImage)

PASADENA, CA – JULY 11: Actress Shannen Doherty speaks during the 2006 Summer Television Critics Press Tour for the Oxygen Network at the Ritz Carlton Hotel July 11, 2006 in Pasadena, California. (Photo Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images)

NEW YORK – NOVEMBER 3: (ITALY OUT, NY DAILY NEWS OUT, NY NEWSDAY OUT) Actress Shannen Doherty attends the Fendi Flagship store opening November 3, 2005 in New York City. (Photo by Arnaldo Magnani/Getty Images)

Shannen Doherty during DKNY Jeans Presents Vanity Fair in Concert With a Live Performance by Alanis Morissette Benefiting Step Up Women’s Network at Hiro Ballroom at The Maritime Hotel in New York City, New York, United States. (Photo by Jamie McCarthy/WireImage)

Shannen Doherty during Olympus Fashion Week Fall 2005 – Sweetface by Jennifer Lopez and Andy Hilfiger – Backstage Arrivals at The Tent, Bryant Park in New York City, New York, United States. (Photo by KMazur/WireImage)

Shannen Doherty at the HP Portrait Studio in Park City, Utah (Photo by Jeff Vespa/WireImage)

Shannen Doherty (Photo by Jeffrey Mayer/WireImage)

Shannen Doherty during The 56th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards – Fox After Party – Arrivals at Spago in Beverly Hills, California, United States. (Photo by J.Sciulli/WireImage for The jLINE Group, Inc.)

Shannen Doherty during World Premiere of ‘S.W.A.T.’ at Mann Village Theater in Westwood, California, United States. (Photo by Jon Kopaloff/FilmMagic)

BEVERLY HILLS, CALIFORNIA – AUGUST 08: Shannen Doherty at the “BH90210” Press Conference at the Four Seasons Hotel on August 08, 2019 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Vera Anderson/WireImage)

Shannen Doherty (Photo by Ron Galella/WireImage)

Jason Priestley, Shannen Doherty and Luke Perry (Photo by Ron Galella/WireImage)

394962 09: ***EXCLUSIVE*** (Publicist Approval Required for ALL Usage) Actress Shannen Doherty poses for a portrait January 2001 in Los Angeles, CA. (Photo by Jeff Katz/Getty Images) (Clients must call or email Getty Images with EXACT frame number, client name, name/type of publication, date of intended publication and type of usage (cover, inside full page, etc) and WAIT for Getty Images to confirm publicist approval before allowing client to commit these images to use.)

Shannen Doherty, circa 1988. (Photo by Getty Images)

Actresses Shannen Doherty and Shalane McCall attend Starlight Foundation Benefit on September 22, 1988 at Ed Debevic’s Restaurant in Beverly Hills, California.

LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE — Season 9 — Pictured: Shannen Doherty as Jenny Wilder (Photo by Frank Carroll/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images)

BH90210: Shannen Doherty in the BH90210 “Pitch” episode airing Wednesday, Aug. 14 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. (Photo by FOX Image Collection via Getty Images)

STAND UP TO CANCER – Featuring performances from top recording artists, and celebrities from film, television and sports, STAND UP TO CANCER will appeal to the public for support and donations to fund cutting-edge cancer research. The star-studded LIVE event, co-executive produced by Bradley Cooper along with Done + Dusted and the Stand Up To Cancer production team, will deliver a one-of-a-kind show by engaging viewers with powerful stories and a moving call-to-action. The program will include a celebrity phone bank that will allow viewers to interact with participating talent. Viewers will also be able to donate at StandUpToCancer.org/Show. One hundred percent of donations received from the public support Stand Up To Cancer’s collaborative cancer research programs. STAND UP TO CANCER airs Friday, September 7th (8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT /7:00 PM CT) on The Walt Disney Television via Getty Images Television Network. (Image Group LA via Getty Images)
DEBORAH WAKNIN-HARWIN, SHANNEN DOHERTY

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As the Beverly Hills, 90210 star recalled, her initial reaction to that devastating news was a reckoning with herself.

“I was like, ‘OK, do I have good karma? Do I have bad karma? Why would I have bad karma?’” she said. “I started taking stock of my life and the things I’d done, and the things I hadn’t done. How I was with people.” Ultimately, she decided that, yes, she had been “a really good human being.”

She undoubtedly thought back at some point to her years on the phenomenally popular teen soap. At the time, Doherty was the subject of many tabloid reports, and she had a reputation for being difficult. What she hadn’t made public is that she was “struggling a lot,” especially because her father had extensive health issues during those years.

“It becomes a snowball effect. I’m running from my problems and my fears of losing my dad and the pressure of it,” Doherty said. “I went through an incredibly self-destructive stage.”

She infamously left the show after four seasons, so she wasn’t interested in joining last year’s 90210 reboots, BH90210, at least at first. She didn’t want to revisit a tough time from her past. A pitch from her co-star Brian Austin Green, the only cast member she had stayed close with over the years, and the sad death of Luke Perry in March 2019 changed her mind.

“I’m very grateful I did it,” Doherty reflected nearly a year after the final episode aired. “It was nice seeing everyone again from a new perspective.”

She’s beginning to think about her future and what her illness means, but she isn’t at all done. Doherty said she’s working on a new TV show and continuing to be an advocate for breast cancer patients.

“I haven’t sat down to write letters. That’s something I need to do,” Doherty said. “There are things I need to say to my mom. I want my husband to know what he’s meant to me.”

She said she’s come close to making videos for her loved ones to see after she’s gone.

“But whenever it comes time for me to do it, it feels so final. It feels like you’re signing off, and I’m not signing off,” Doherty said. “I feel like I’m a very, very healthy human being. It’s hard to wrap up your affairs when you feel like you’re going to live another 10 or 15 years.” 

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